You Just Never Know and Now What?

I feel like I am currently the poster child for the phrase "You just never know what you might get".  I could go into detail here, but I will spare you most of the details and deal with them myself.  When you find yourself in a new place and situation, well, you really don't know what's bound to be in store for you.  And your own best intentions, detailed planning, and positive outlook don't always achieve the results you hoped for.  What was it Mom said about the road to hell being paved with good intentions?  Well, let's not dwell on that!

Just some of the things I didn't know I was in for:

Hugs and warm greetings from Walmart employees

Bug species and sizes I've never seen or heard of before

giant beetle(that's Kenny's shoe)

a gas leak

skies filled with three types of clouds at once

package/ red dot stores

being awakened by the chirping of  frogs, not birds

The list could go on, but I will stop with the one that has really hung me up.  It took a long time to get my SC teaching certification, and when it came it was a pleasant, but loaded surprise.  I am happy to say that  I am highly qualified in the areas of English and Middle Level Language Arts and have certification in theater, but it's the second certification that threw me.  In Ohio, I can teach grades 7-12.  In South Carolina, I can teach Language Arts down to the 5th grade!  While that thrills me, I have missed several job opportunities that I could not afford to miss, especially this close to the school year.  I know you are wondering if I had called and asked in what I would be certified.  I did, but I was told that it would have to be determined because the Department of Education representative had never even heard of my certification before!  I am more than frustrated at my missed opportunities--especially when I had no information to work with.   Today found me scrambling to apply for a position I am now qualified to teach.  I really need and want to get a full-time teaching job, and I am very concerned about the consequences of that not happening!

Sometimes we just can't anticipate, control, or even remedy the things that happen in our lives.  What we have to do is try to keep our perspective and not allow those life-quakes and bumps in the road to paralyze us with fear. First, we have to get back up on our feet and figure the best course of action with what we have left, even while we are still dealing with the aftershocks.  I find myself especially challenged by this sometimes.  Perhaps I'm a bit of a drama queen, but I can begin to get lost in the worst-case scenario and want to give up all hope.  (Kenny and my puffy eyelids will attest to such an occurrence within the last 24 hours.) Secondly, we have to actually step out and take action toward restoration or construction of our plan.  Fear of failure (again), just plain fear, defeat, or even a sense of unworthiness can keep us from ever making the first step.   I have been challenged over the last few weeks to feel my fear and do whatever it is anyway.  And I encourage you to do the same, even if it means you don't succeed.  Just taking positive action helps build confidence and competence to try again.  I have worked up my courage by praying and talking to God on my way through challenges.  Sometimes I have even told God that I wasn't prepared or didn't want to, but I would go ahead and do the best or right thing.  I have to admit that there are even times when I have felt or do feel very alone and somewhat abandoned by God.  In those times, I try to imagine what I would do if I felt God was cheering me on, and then I do that thing. (Notice I use the word felt here which is not a true reflection of reality!) I always seem to feel better after I have taken action, and I continue to pray for wisdom and blessings as I try to make my way back onto the path.  

What has knocked you off your feet that you didn't see coming?  Maybe it's the actions of a friend or family member, a death, a job or lack of one, a home or car repair, a diagnosis.  Remember what the Lord has said...

"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.

Do not be terrified;do not be discouraged,

for the Lord your God will be with you 

wherever you go."

Joshua 1:9

Long Distance Moves: A Short Tutorial

I have heard many people at my stage of life say that they don't know where they would even begin if they had to pick up and move the way we did.  For others, moving every several years is just a way of life--think military or pastor families.  Let me be straightforward: moving long distance with a family is not for the faint of heart.  But it can be and is done all the time.  I thought I'd share what I have learned mostly the hard way.  Maybe it will be useful for you when you have to or want to move, even if it's not until retirement.  (Shannon, this post is especially for you!)

First, check out your new community as much as possible.  There is a lot of grunt work involved in this, especially when it comes to finding a place(housing/neighborhood) to live. The internet is the best place to start.  Check out the newspaper online.  Call the city building and talk to someone there.  Visit, more than once.  While there, go to the Chamber of Commerce and talk to the person there.  They will give you all kinds of newcomer pamphlets, a phone book, a list of helpful phone numbers. We were fortunate; the lady who works at our Chamber of Commerce is a transplant from Indiana.  When you find a potential home, take the time to drive the area in the morning, afternoon, and after dark.  This will help you know what the atmosphere and neighbors are like. Scout out the stores and other places you frequent.  Where are they and how far do you have to go to get to them.  A local hospital was a must--it's the mom in me. Visit a church and see how you are received.  We chose the church with a large youth group, and we think we got it right.

Second, prepare yourself for what all you have to do to get established in the new place and close up shop in the old.  Navigating utilities and government agencies can be a real headache.  For example, we had to show up in person to have the utilities switched over.  Some things can't be done over the phone.  Find out what it takes to get your driver's license, your kids enrolled in school, your car insurance transferred.  Don't forget to  notify your creditors, subscriptions, etc of your address change.  Even though I did, some still are in the process of getting it right.  It's also important that you find out about sales, property,  and employment tax rates in your new area.  Things may be done very differently in other places.  We now pay annual property tax on our cars, but our driver's licenses are good for ten years.  No local employment tax, but the state tax is a flat rate.  In Ohio, there's a sliding scale for income tax.

Third, once you have found a house, do your homework.  We were fortunate enough to be given the keys to the properties and sent out to look at them on our own(highly unusual).  We took our time and spent at least an hour in each of the contenders.  We took pictures, made extensive notes, and took measurements.  We visualized our stuff and our lives in the space.  We wrote down what we had that would work in the spaces, right down to the curtain rods.  We listed what we would need.  When I got home, I made lists of what would move with us and what had to be sold.  The fact that we are about 100 miles from the coast means that there are no basements.  Since I had a basement, that called for some pretty drastic storage changes.  Have a garage sale!  Donate the rest.  Weed out all the things you don't need or absolutely love.  If you can afford it, sell almost everything and buy new(or new to you).  I am not kidding.  Take only your personal effects and most valued treasures.  I would have bought almost all new furniture if I could have.  

As far as the moving goes, my best advice is to hire a mover.  We didn't.  We couldn't.  We were given a moving allowance, but it did not cover the $7k it would have cost. We packed a 26' UHaul full.  It was grueling work.  I did most of the packing all by myself because of Kenny's work schedule.  Start a month ahead of time, at least.  Get friends to help if you can.  Thanks to our dear friends, I did not load the truck at all.  Unloading in the pouring rain in four hours was a nightmare.  Get help at the new place if you can.  We should have hired the hourly help to unpack.  Buy the stupid moving insurance.  A few bucks is worth the peace of mind knowing they'll replace your stuff.  Did I say this already?  If you can, get rid of all or most of your stuff and buy new!

This list is long, I know.  It's certainly not complete, but I will give you a break now.  One day it might be useful.  It's really nice down here.  Come January, you might just consider a move to the South too.

Hugs, Ya'll!

Habits and the Freedom to Choose Them

To say my world's been turned upside down is an understatement. With summer, packing, unpacking, and trying to get settled in a completely new place, I have fallen completely out of most routines I had established before.  In some respects, that's a good thing.  Yesterday it became clear to me that it was finally time to re-commit to some good habits, establish some new ones, and drop some old, bad ones.  (Why are the bad ones the hardest to get rid of, anyway?)  It's sometimes easy to forget that we have the freedom to choose or lose our habits among the other freedoms we have in this great nation.

I decided to go ahead and put these out here for all to see, mostly because if I let ya'll see them then I feel more apt to stick with them.  "They" say it takes six weeks to form a habit, so I better get started.

1)  Resume exercising and eating healthfully.  (Yeah, maybe that's two in some people's books, but I say they work in tandem.)
2)  Practice gratitude.
3)  Speak and act in a positive manner; put aside negativity.  Proceed confidently.
4)  Persevere.
5)  Aim high.  (Falcons, wasn't our high school motto: "To reach the heights, aim high"?)
6)  Date my husband and re-connect with him.  (This is not all personal, gushy, TMI stuff.  He has been travelling 4-5 days a week for the last seven years.  There's a lot you miss just raising kids.  The marriage experts say this should be a habit of every married couple.)

Since I am being positive and all that I won't go into the bad habits I have to drop.  Suffice it to say, there is nothing you need to worry about.  That would be a bad habit for you to fall into. ;)

What good things are you up to now?  Feel free to share your ideas for fun dates too!

Hugs!

Valleys, Mountain Tops, and a Prayer

Week 2.  While last week I was able to reflect with humor the frustrations of moving and trying to ease into a new environment, this week I just can't muster the same feelings.  I have to ask why it was that we did this.  I suppose part of it is that I have worked myself nearly into illness for four weeks packing, unpacking, running errands, and trying to make life work in general.  Honestly, much of my life the last few weeks has been spent in the valleys and not on any mountain top.  I feel fragile right now.  And drained.  Even angry at times. I've nearly reached my limit today.  I still haven't taken care of all the business I need to. No license, cars not registered, kids not enrolled in school.  All these things are linked and have to be done in a certain sequential order.  And we are still waiting for my husband's paycheck (from his former employer) that was supposedly mailed last Friday and awaiting answers as to why it has not shown up.  I have trust issues...is this merely a coincidence?

I don't mean to complain, and I am stopping myself from revealing the entire tragic list.


I desperately need of a few blessings and/or miracles. A dose of faith and ton of good fortune wouldn't hurt either.  And a million bucks, of course.  I realize I am not the only one, and some of you may be in similar need.  I will say a prayer of blessing for you, dear readers.  May I ask you to pray for me also? 


This is the benediction from church this past Sunday.  It is part of what I pray for you:

"Irish Blessing"

May the road rise to meet you

May the wind blow at your back

May the sun shine warmly on your face

May the rain fall softly on your field

And until we meet again, until we meet again

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Amen

A Place You've Read About

I could probably blog for days about the experiences I have had moving.  It's been an experience like no other.  And that phrase you've heard about "if it could go wrong, it did", well, yeah, that's pretty much true. We got here on Sunday evening.  It was pouring rain.  All the neighbors managed to find an excuse to come out and gawk at us poor fools unpacking a 26' Uhaul in the rain.  Not a one came over to help.  Southern hospitality??  On day three the sewer backed up because no one had lived in this house for 5 months, and things dry up and stop up after a while.  The inner compartments of the refrigerator are broken.  And the vent on the microwave.  And the garbage disposal was broken.  And although I brought my own washer and dryer, they're not hooked up yet.  Washer and dryer don't work much better than the rest.  But I do like it here, really.

The red tape here is so intricate.  When it comes to establishing yourself, you begin to wonder what comes first.  You can't get a driver's license with less than four forms of identification: something that proves residency, previous license, SS card, birth certificate, marriage certificate (if your name is different than on birth certificate).  Proofs of residency are very specific, but if I have a weapons permit I can get a license.  Handy if I am going to take it on the road Bonnie and Clyde style.  You have to have a driver's license to register and title your car, but the license application wants to know if you have any untitled autos at your residence.  Both titles are in Kenny's name. I can't enroll my kids in school without 6 pieces of identification.  Yesterday, the store where I paid CASH for a sofa called.  They wanted to confirm delivery.  They also asked if I had closed on my house or signed a lease yet before they delivered.  I hope so, since I've lived here a week.  All the same, I paid CASH!  If I want you to leave the sofa on the porch, what do you care, lady?  But I do like it here, really.

Maybe people who move to Ohio from other states have to go through all this stuff?

This is the kind of place you read about.  A small southern town.  The police department actually sets up a cruiser at the edge of town with a dummy in it all day to deter speeders.  I am not kidding.  A lot of folks drive through here to get to the beach.  It's not Mayberry, mind you.  It has modern conveniences and hip little establishments.  It's artsy and horsey.  The Carolina Cup takes place here.  There are antebellum homes and new subdivisions.  If you read southern chick fiction, you will read about a place like this.  And you might not think it truly exists.  Oh, but it surely does.  You won't just run across it, and you have to go looking for it.  It is the kind of place where I always wanted to lead a peaceful life.  And it will be peaceful, as soon as I can acclimate.  I do like it here, really, ya'll.

The Blog Post I've Been Waiting to Write

It's certainly been a while...  One of the last entries was about change, and I said I would be experiencing lots of change soon.  I find myself and my family in the midst of "soon'-- a whirlwind of change.

We are moving to sunny South Carolina in four--yes four--days!  If you knew me well in high school and beyond, you know that I have always said it is my dream to live in South Carolina.  After 30 years, I wasn't sure that I would ever get there.  Saying goodbye to life here is bittersweet.  Although we are sad to leave behind our friends, we are excited about new life in a new place.  We are so ready for this change.  (I will share the events leading up to this later.)

I sit here surrounded by boxes and piles and chaos.  These are things that I normally find stressful. But today, I have adopted a new perspective and find a certain comfort in the end this mess brings.  It's a good thing, because I am fairly certain that we will live in this jumbled state for about three more weeks.  The air is tinged with excitement, while my body is filled with physical and mental exhaustion.  I wonder how I will get it all done myself while my husband travels.  I will because God always gives me strength and the help of others to get the job done.  I have surprised myself by the lack of tears I have shed.  Maybe because I am so busy?  Maybe because, despite the bumps in the road and the unpredictable possibilities, I have never once questioned this decision.  This is the thing we are to do.

My schedule over the next few days may keep me from writing, but I will pick this blog-writing quest back up and with greater force once I have settled in.  This graceful path is leading me to South Carolina.  I hope you will follow me and my new adventures there!

Bugs in the Sugar

The other day while I was standing at my pantry door, I happened to catch sight of the sugar canister and noticed that there were two foreign invaders present.  My first thought was that someone had gotten crumbs in the sugar, but unfortunately that was not the case.  Since the canister is airtight, I can only assume it was open long enough for the nasty little critters to sneak in unnoticed.  Yuk!  Now, I keep a super clean house, so it disturbs me that this would happen.  I realize it's spring time and bugs get in, but how could they have crept in so far without my notice?  I am vigilant about bugs and such! Out went the sugar and the canister was scrubbed scrupulously clean.  Only good, safe sugar will do!

The whole situation got me thinking about other things that I have become keenly aware of lately. Things that had crept into my mind without detection and needed to be examined, thrown out, and replaced with the good stuff.  A few months ago, I heard some teaching that seemed to be off the mark--or to be more explicit--downright bad doctrine.  I can't say it isn't stuff I haven't heard before, but for some reason (and I am not willing to conjecture why) I heard it with new ears.  So I went to the Bible to research and listened to some very sound  Biblical teaching, and now I know what was wrong with that teaching.  It really disturbs me that  I have heard false teaching before and have not recognized it or questioned it, and have even passed it on.  How did I come to accept it as true?  How did it sneak in unnoticed?

I think the answer lies in the prevailing popular approach to modern religion-- a post-modern, seeker approach. (Disclaimer: I confess that I am not a Bible scholar, theologian, or schooled in any formal way in the topic of religion, so these are all my own conclusions drawn from some really good commentary from sound theologians and my own observations.)  There are a good number of preachers and teachers who tell us what is appealing to us.  They package church in a manner that makes it indistinguishable from popular culture, they fail to point out our nature as sinners in need of salvation through the atoning death of Jesus, they feed our compulsion to "do" by giving us three/five/seven ways we can appear to be a good Christian (the sin of pride comes to mind).  And what I have observed most is that they make everything about US--how do we interpret the Word,  what does the scripture say about or mean to us (without consideration for the context of the text), what we can do, what's our testimony--and they leave out Jesus or stick in one passage of the Bible, taken out of context, to support the point.  All these things are like sugar to my complacent, self-centered, sinful nature, but they are full of bugs.  What is candy to my ears may bring sickness to my soul.  It is vital that we stay alert to what is taught, preached, and proposed.  We are compelled to shine the light of Scripture on what we have heard.  I am determined now to question, compare and contrast teaching to the Gospel, to challenge, and even to confront.  This post may even seem  a bit confrontational.  It might appear sweet and loving for me to let it go, but we are called to confront that which is false in order to help lead others out of sin.  Since I have struggled/struggle with this myself, I care that my brothers and sisters do too.  Please question what you hear, go to the Bible, seek good pastoral counsel, and even gently confront.  Even if that means me.

          "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.
          But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.  Carry each other's burdens and in
          this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  If anyone thinks he is something when he is
          nothing, he deceives himself.  Each one should test his own actions." -Galatians 6:1-4a

Peace,
Mary

Ch-ch-ch- ch-changes

It's been a while since I've written.  It's not really on purpose, but sometimes life moves at a pace with which my mind can't really keep up.  I am still processing it and formulating thoughts and feelings about it all.  I find myself spinning and zigzagging to face the changes that are flying at me now.  I ponder what changes God and life have brought and the choices I have made to create changes in my life over the last few years.  Some were subtle, some were monumental.  And I look now at what is unfolding before us with both excitement and slight anxiety for the unknown.

In some ways my life looks much different now than two years ago.  Then I was extremely unhappy working a full-time job that did not offer any satisfaction but emotionally and physically took everything I had to make it through a day--It was not the work, but the people and their manipulations and squabbling who were literally driving me to the brink of my sanity and draining me. (By the way, reliable resources say this work environment is still the same.)  Today, I work part-time as a substitute teacher and love it!  I have more time with my family and the place I work is a professional environment where healthy boundaries exist and mutual respect is shown.  My children are much happier to have me with them (yes,even at school together) and fully attentive and mostly compassionate (because I am still challenged there).  My husband, who travels almost constantly, is thrilled that I can be with him when he does get a few days at home.

This morning, in my comfy over-sized chair, it dawned on me that next year my life will look a lot different from now, from two years ago, from ever before.  And I realized that when you are younger, your life does naturally change at a much more rapid pace.  Many people graduate high school, earn their college degree, enter the work force, and maybe even marry in the period of four or five years.  I did.  After that, the big changes usually occur at a slower pace.  By the time you reach your forties, you've mostly settled in so you may help your children adjust to their changes and deal with the impact their changes bring to you.  Being an observer to the changes your children experience is challenging enough!

But the old axiom is true, as long as we are living and breathing, we are changing.  (Thank you, God!)  I know I am not the only one who finds myself making big transitions at this stage of life.  Collectively we find ourselves here for a myriad of reasons, sometimes a combination of more than one.  It's the economy and its casualties, a midlife or health crisis, a spiritual wake-up call, a redefining of values and priorities, a new vocational calling, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, a heart's true desire, or you fill in the blank.  Whatever the reason, we are not alone.  I am  in the company of other people, and most importantly, God.

While my changes are good and my emotions about them are mostly positive, still I have to be careful not to rush through the now to get to the "when".  And when those moments of anxiety about the unknown and the future creep in, I must remember that God is in control and that I am able to be in constant communion with Him.  The devotional I read, Jesus Calling: Seeking Peace in His Presence, reminded me yesterday.

           You are on the path of My choosing.  There is no randomness about your life.  Here      
            and Now comprise the coordinates of your daily life.  Most people let their moments
            slip through their fingers, half-lived.  They avoid the present by worrying about the future
            or longing for a better time and place.  They forget that they are creatures who are sub-
            ject to the limitations of time and space.  They forget their Creator, who walks with them
            only in the present.

Enjoy this day!

Mary

Easter cake and thoughts a la mode

It's been over a week since my last post, and the thoughts still swirl about my head.  I suppose one could argue that I would have plenty to write about with all that pondering going on, but I think all bloggers edit what we share prior to sitting down at the keyboard.  My blog is a genuine glimpse into my life, but not all my thoughts go here--sometimes for my own good, sometimes for yours.  Often, it's a matter of timing and what's appropriate when.  Having put that out there, I realize it makes you wonder what on earth I am talking about.  I will share my thoughts over time.  (Patience is not my virtue either, I  must admit.)

Today my thoughts are rather random.

First, I hope that everyone had a lovely Easter.  This Easter I decided to bake and take a hummingbird cake to my parents for dinner.  Easter dinner included all sorts of yummy food, including the required ham and deviled eggs.   Here's the cake.  I used the recipe featured in Southern Lady magazine-- a great magazine, by the way.

Secondly, I am rather fascinated with extreme couponing and the folks who do it.  I suspect my food choices and the coupons offered don't match up too well, so my savings would be rather minimal.  I do use coupons as much as possible, but I think about challenging myself to planning meals and shopping according to the sales and coupons one week.  It must be pretty exhilarating to shop for the whole month on what I spend in one week.  Think of what I could save doing this just one week a month.  Hmmm?

Thirdly, as I sit here I am watching TV.  It is something I don't do a whole lot of, and I am tuned into Food TV, which is in line with my typical fare.  (Oh, that was unintentionally punny!)  Anyway, a PopTart commercial came on several minutes ago, and it rather appalled me.  And not because of the complete lack of nutritional value or the overabundance of preservatives and artificial flavors.  It was the advertising technique.  The song playing was "I'm Too Sexy" and the implication is that choosing the right flavor adds to your sex appeal.  Now, I know plenty of adults eat PopTarts, but the target crowd is the under 12 set.  One of the last things I want is for advertisers to use sex to sell breakfast food to three year-olds.  And I do not want to witness a toddler in the grocery aisle singing said song as he picks out his strawberry toaster treats.  (I really have nothing against PopTarts and have in the past indulged in the cinnamon frosted variety. They are rather tasty. It's the advertising that makes me crazy!)  I have to add here that if this commercial is targeted to the adult audience, that a significant amount of  irony lies in the fact that the consumption of toaster treats may add several un-sexy inches to the adult waistline rather quickly.  Just sayin'.

Well, I am sure that you have had enough of my random wonderings for now.  I hope you have a wonderful day!

The Super Taster and the Contrite Heart

Wow!  It's been a while!  The last couple weeks have been filled with much physical and mental activity.  I am still swirling about.  I really want to blog regularly, but that will probably be a challenge until summer.

Today, I would like to introduce the Super Taster.  This is my son, Evan.  He is 16!  I can't believe it!  Isn't he  handsome?  I wish you could see the amazing eyelashes on this guy!  The boys always get them, don't they?

For much of his life, we have carried on the great battle of Diet.  He likes what we call the yellow food group-- bananas, bread, mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, cheese slices, applesauce, corn, and plain vanilla ice cream.  Add pizza, plain cheeseburgers, milk chocolate, pudding, and Oreos for a little variety.  That about sums it up.  Bland!  Pair that with a couple of parents who eat just about anything, have no qualms about trying new food, and desperately want their children to eat healthfully, and you have some serious opposition.  I am just being honest when I tell you there have been tears, yelling, warnings against malnutrition, and even groundings.  Our latest threat was a trip to a nutritionist and psychologist for help in overcoming whatever issue might really lie behind this problem.  There is only one other person than my son that I have ever seen with such a violent gag reaction and attitude toward condiments--my father.  Then suddenly, last week it clicked.  And in a conversation with my father, the light bulb turned on.  Recently, my father learned he is a super taster.  And guess what?  My son is apparently a super taster too!  (About 25%  of the population is.)  We are awaiting one more little test to confirm it, but everything else indicates it.  He can't really help it, he was made to like bland food and be overwhelmed by strong flavors.

I can tell you that my son is thrilled that we are no longer threatening and fussing.  The stress level at the dinner table has fallen.  But I must admit that I am still a little worried about his nutrition, so we are insisting he take vitamins.  What I was feeling was pretty lousy and contrite after all these years of battle!  My husband and I both slept poorly the night we made the discovery--oh, the guilt!  Had I put two and two together sooner, well...  I am grateful that my children are both so forgiving of our parental mistakes!

Sometimes I think we find it most difficult to walk in the shoes of those closest to us.  Our loved ones can be the hardest to understand because we have an expectation that they are like us and they think like us.   I pray I don't give my children too much to be frustrated by, and that they will always know they are loved.  Even in our differences and, especially, because of our individuality.

Receiving the Pearls

I've been finding it difficult to write a post about The Pearl Event on Saturday.  I want to capture it with my words, but I can't rightly do so.  I think the best approach is  to write about part of my take-away experience. I will try to give it some of the justice it deserves.  There was much to be gained from what was shared, and everyone who attended walked away with their own set of pearls (literally and figuratively).

Friday night was the night to informally meet and talk with the speakers, three of which are my favorite bloggers.  Sibi, is just warmth, grace, sparkles, sweetness, and beauty wrapped up into one.  She's a true pearl, whose testimony will leave you stunned and full of hope.  Paige is one lady I have loved from the moment I read her blog.  She's so gorgeous, hip, down-to-earth, creative, and full of life. Paige made me feel loved!  I wish we lived closer, because I feel a special connection to her. She and Sibi hug me the way I love to be hugged-- completely enveloped and long-lasting.  And Edie-- superwoman-- energetic, intellectual yet not intimidating, stylish,  awesome decorator, warm, and funny.  Who could not love this woman?  I want to be in her circle of close friends!

Saturday was the actual Event.  Five wonderful speakers, each with a special story to tell.  Each brought tears to my eyes.  When I tried to reflect on the experience to my husband, I realized some major lessons that I felt the Holy Spirit was bringing to me through these women.   Most of these were tied very clearly to the points that Paige made in her message.  Find my voice and tell my story now, even though I may feel insignificant and my story may still not be fully written.  Share even when I am still walking through the fire. God is writing my story.  He has the perfect plan; He is the perfect author.  Trust in Him. Jane Matthews shared a quote from Bill Johnson that applies here (I hope I got this down right): "Sometimes the willingness to do what I am not qualified to do, qualifies me."

 Edie shared that we should not be afraid to "live on the edge" through suffering, trials, and risking our vulnerability to others.  "Suffering causes us to live on the edge in real life."  God wants us living on the edge.  I felt she was saying that our vulnerability leads others to vulnerability and opens us all to the love and grace of God.  (This day was possible because Sibi, Jane, Sarah, Paige, and Edie were willing to allow God to speak through their vulnerabilities.)   Edie also talked about how being vulnerable through her blogging was a form of living life on the edge.  That really spoke to me, because it is one of the goals that I have for blogging.  I feel the need to answer this call in my face-to-face life too.  (There's a blog post  or 90 million being written in my mind to follow.) As if in confirmation, the devotional I started this year, Jesus Calling: Seeking Peace in His Presence, offered me this the following morning:  "If you live your life too safely, you will never know the thrill of seeing Me work through you.  When I gave you My Spirit, I empowered you to live beyond your natural ability and strength."

One universal theme throughout the Event was the need to lay all at His feet.  If there is anything that we feel we can't live without, that is our idol.  Each of these women have seen the thing they thought they couldn't survive without taken from them in one form or another: death, disease, fire, rejection, abandonment.  Each, not only survived, but with the grace of God, have emerged as His beautiful Pearls!  I must confess this is a tender subject.  I don't like to think too much about what my idols may be, and I think I am not alone.  But as I sat listening to Edie speak about watching her beloved home being swallowed by fire, I felt a sense of peace about the laying down of some of my own idols.  For about four years, I suffered terrible anxiety about the potential loss of two idols.  In recent months, I have lain these things at the feet of Jesus (sometimes daily).  At
that moment on Saturday, I shed tears of relief and release.  Although these things have not been taken from me, I know that God is in control and I will more than survive if they are taken away tomorrow.

The lightning and thunder are rolling in now, and I fear I might lose all this if I don't make haste and post this.  And I should probably unplug this computer to keep it from a potential zapping.  Before I go, I want to encourage you today, no matter what storm you might be in the midst of, to reach out--whether it's to help, or  to ask for help.  Be vulnerable to God and to others.

Big, warm hugs!
Mary

Catching Up and a Dessert Recipe

I am back from The Pearl Event, and WOW!, it was awesome!  I am still processing all I heard and learned, and I am contemplating the ways the Holy Spirit spoke to me through the ladies who shared.  What wonderful, beautiful women the speakers are!  I will share more in the days to come once I have caught up here at home, and I am able to do it some justice.  Believe me, I could go on for days!  I am so grateful for the opportunity to have gone to Nashville for The Pearl Event!

In the meantime, here's a little treat we like at our house.  It's a super easy chocolate pastry.

1/2 package puff pastry-- I use Pepperidge Farm from the freezer section

Thaw according to package, then divide into 9 sections

Semi-sweet chocolate chips or chunks

Place as many chocolate pieces as you like in the center of the pastry, then fold the pastry over almost halfway, leaving about an inch to fold over and seal the end closed.  Pinch the sides down to seal.
Place the pastries on a greased or sprayed baking sheet, fold side down.
Beat one egg with one tablespoon water and brush over the top of each pastry.
Bake for 22-25 in a 425 degree oven.
When the pastries have cooled for about 5 minutes, melt 1/4 cup of chocolate pieces and a dab of shortening in the microwave.  Stir together and using a spoon, drizzle the chocolate over the top of the pastries.

Enjoy!

Storm Clouds and the Promise of Pearls

My path today is overshadowed by storm clouds, both literally and figuratively.  It is a gloomy, rainy day here as I struggle with my faith.  The doubts creep in darkening my thoughts and dampening my spirit.  They're nothing extraordinary or even foreign, but they are there all the same.  I miss my husband who's been home no more than 15 days since the year started.  I am lonely because I straddle two worlds-- part-time work and stay-at-home mom--and can't really nurture friendships with all the responsibility I carry.  I worry about retirement, finances, and the future.  I wonder when we are going to get out of this holding pattern and begin living the life we see just out of our grasp. Sometimes  it's hard to keep my chin up and carry on.  Yet I know that these troubles pale in comparison to the struggles that some are facing and even to some of the other trials God has carried me through in the past.  I also know that it is all only temporary-- my emotions are fickle and will soon change. And I know what I need to do.  This time I spend alone, I am not really alone.  I use these times to talk God about it all.  We have nearly all day, and He is faithful.

As I write this, I feel the clouds breaking.  I am so excited for tomorrow and Saturday: The Pearl Event!  I (and 199 other women) am about to blessed with the beautiful ladies who will open their hearts, offer their love, and share their souls to inspire and encourage us!  I am so ready for the hugs, laughter, and squeals of delight to come!  

Don't forget to wear your pearls!!

Chic Shot

While driving today, I spotted this chic fellow.  He immediately caught my eye, and I thought momentarily I was in Paris!  The sneakily shot photo doesn't do him justice.  He is wearing a fashionable hat, pea coat, black Converse (see yesterday's post), carries a messenger bag, and walks with a most confident jaunt in his step.

Warning Signals and Yield Signs

I am always amazed at the workings and ways of God (as I should be).  He often puts reminders in my life right when I need them-- too bad I don't always heed them.  I like to think of them as warning signals and yield signs for impending experiences.

For more than a week now, I have read over and over in various places (secular and spiritual), about the danger of jumping to conclusions about and internalizing what others say to me or things they do that impact me.  Honestly, I feel pretty self-centered when I do this, but I believe it happens as a result of a lack of confidence or faith in God and His intentions for me, not a feeling of over-importance.  (Help me, Lord!)

Lo and behold, just three days ago a job for which I was scheduled was cancelled, and I jumped to the wrong conclusion.  Although a voice was telling me that it probably had nothing to do with me, I grabbed onto the lie that the enemy dangled before me.  Well, I hope that will teach me!  I learned just yesterday that the cancellation had absolutely nothing to do with me or my abilities or perceived lack of abilities.

How often do we struggle and lose our focus on God's love and providence for us?  How often do we lean on our own (mis)understanding and  rely on our own abilities to orchestrate our lives?  What do we miss when we do?  I am so grateful that God is faithful even when my faith in Him and His plan for me falters!

" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.' "  Jeremiah 29:11

Oh, and I was requested for a job that replaced the cancelled one.  And it was better!

I Heart You! I really do.

I am about to make a revelation that may be a bit surprising, considering the overall romantic look of my blog:

 Yeah, uh, I've never really thought a whole lot about making a big deal out of Valentine's Day.

Don't get me wrong, I do a little something sweet for my husband and kids each year, but we don't make a big deal out of it.  This morning I began pondering why I have this low-key response to this LOVE-ly day.  Perhaps it goes back to my childhood.  I don't recall it ever being a special celebration in our home.  Although my parents have been married nearly 45 years, I remember only occasional gifts or flowers being given.  Maybe my parents were too busy working, maybe they were too practical (money spent on flowers that last a week is a waste?),  maybe they didn't buy the commercial hype of the day, or maybe they figured everyday was filled with love.  I have never asked.  That really doesn't explain why I never really have adopted a new way of thinking about Valentine's Day.  I think I would like it to be a bit more special for us, though.

Having said that, I have to make another confession:  I am still not completely feeling it today.  I know why.  My sweetheart is in Texas working! So today, I have been daydreaming of how I would like to treat my husband for the day~ breakfast in bed while watching a soccer match on TV and, later, a surf and turf dinner in a nice restaurant.  I am hoping that the thought really does count, and he will feel my love across the miles.  I do have goodies for our kids, and I am the lucky one.  I get to be with them today!

What about you?  Tell us how you share the love on Valentine's Day.  Is it a big day in your home?  Do you have any traditions or fun ideas that might inspire those of us who are a little lackluster in the art of Cupid?

XOXO!

Mary

Finding my (blog) Voice

I have pondered creating this blog for quite some time now.  I even made a couple of false starts.  I have so enjoyed reading the lovely blogs of some beautiful ladies~ sometimes laughing, sometimes crying, always inspired.  (The ones I love are listed at the right, if you would like to see for yourself.)  I have wondered if I would be able to share of myself and inspire in a likewise manner~ not as a copy, but as a true reflection of myself, the woman God is working in me to be.  More than once I have hesitated because doubt has crept in, making me question if my writing would be good enough and if the thoughts I would share would matter.  I have decided to step out on this path despite my fears.


My hope is that this blog will serve at least three purposes.  First, that it would be an honest journey and testimony.  Secondly, that it might remind me daily of my focus to strive to live out one of (what I perceive is) God's purposes for my life: to share faith, grace, and beauty with others.  And lastly, if possible, that I may encourage someone else to follow a passion, write, or do something; even though she may feel inadequate or unprepared.


I hope we can support, inspire, and encourage one another along our way.  


Love and blessings!